Why do adults tell kids to "be themselves", then yell at them for it?

seriously, when i was a kid i looked like a total punk. everything i wore had skulls on it, i grew my hair long and left it kinda nasty looking, and i wore metal studs and spikes. at the time there was only me and like 3 other people in town like that. now we're all adults with great jobs and we get paid pretty damn well (not to brag). my mom used to tell me not to follow the crowd just to be popular, and to think for myself, and then when i did what i liked and didnt follow fashion at all, she told me i should be more fashionable. same with my music. but we were never into drugs, and i dont think any of us ever even got drunk before we were in our mid 20's.

now its happening to my little cousins, my neighbor's kids, and half the kids on here.

whats the deal?

Why do adults tell kids to "be themselves", then yell at them for it?

as we age we mature past the understanding that it took us a minute to discover ourselves, we tend to see everything as it is as apposed to how it was for us,

I can remeber when I was a kid my parents couldnt understand why I listen to hip hop so religously, however that listening lead me to other intrests in music as in where the samples came from, what were the origins of "street poetry" how to be a good d.j. and so on,

we lose touch with that explorational side of who and what we are once we "find our selves" so to speak

when dealing with my own little ones I try to remeber the things that my parents didnt understand and just go from there, Its all about looking back and remebering there was a time that you too were "lost " in the eyes of your parents

and not putting your kids in that situation

Why do adults tell kids to "be themselves", then yell at them for it?

Well when you have kids you'll understand.

Why do adults tell kids to "be themselves", then yell at them for it?

Like what the second guy said parents have forgotten what it really was like to be a kid. They have some ideas but really truly they have forgotten. I just hope that if I have kids I will still truly remember what it was like when I was young.

Why do adults tell kids to "be themselves", then yell at them for it?

i think kids should be themselves..and i think eventually they will figure everything out and turn out better than the kids that were forced to do things a certain way.